One day without e.d. behavior down. My parents are in town, I'm using this as a time to break out of the cycle. My mom calls at 9:00am to say they will be here at 3:00pm. My first thought: I can binge and purge before they get here. I really had to fight to not do it. I was actually calculating the time in my head. How many times can I binge and purge and still have time to scrub my apt. and do laundry before they get here? Keep in mind that my apt. was an eating disordered mess. I seriously contemplated it! Gratefully though, I didn't. I got my apt. sparkling clean and smelling fresh (as opposed to other odors).
So I feel really good about today. Things w/mom & dad are going well. We did have one incident at dinner. I realize that I'm fighting history, but when I say I'm working on a certain issue w/the therapist, I wish they would believe it and then let it go. My mom just has to reiterate her concern over & over, even when I tell her it's not helpful. I'm glad they are here though.
I can get through tomorrow and then Mon. w/out e.d. behavior, things will get better.
I'm still missing the point though...if I've been doing e.d. behavior, obviously there is something wrong! I've been so focused on just stopping the behavior, I never tried to figure out why I went to the behavior and what I need to change so I don't need the behavior anymore.
Wish it was Thursday (therapy day).
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